Keep Yourself Entertained While DD-ing


Designated Driver and Driving / MIke Kline / CC BY 2.0

If you are a member of a group of friends, and you are not an asshole, you will occasionally find yourself ferrying about your less-than-sober friends. You may realize that this is necessary, and good, and lowers drunk driving fatalities (all really good things!), but that doesn’t change the fact that drunk people are sometimes really freaking annoying. With that in mind, and several memorable DD-ing experiences under my belt, I bring you five ways to entertain yourself as the designated driver:

  1. Play 90’s music on the car ride home: The mid-to-late 90’s are the period in life before people grew up and potentially quit listening to the radio as part of their “developing good taste in music” phase. As a result, everyone that you ferry home will know “Bye, Bye, Bye,” “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” and the entire Destiny’s Child Greatest Hits CD. If you play this music while they’re drunk, they’ll belt it out and–bonus points!–quit talking about whatever just happened at the party.
  2. Try to convince your friends to recite the entire PowerThirst commercial: Will they be able to do it? No. Will their failure be hilarious? Yes.
  3. Convince your friends it’s “Tim’s” birthday: Mention a mutual friend who isn’t at the party, and tell your friends to go find him for singing. If there are multiple DD-ing friends at the party, collaborate so you can convince the highest number of people to go help find Tim. This is particularly fun if you have friends who get very, very focused when they drink.
  4. Have the DJ play “Every Time We Touch”: The song, not the no-doubt creepy game that one could come up with. Pretty much everyone’s reaction to this song is to jump up and down and scream the lyrics. It’s entertaining to watch and entertaining to participate in sober, plus it reduces the chance that people are dancing in a way that they will elbow you in the ribs. Bonus!
  5. Take party pictures: I don’t know anyone who can pose well drunk. If you’re in the photo, you’ll look fabulous by dint of knowing to look at the camera and keep your eyes open. If you’re just behind the camera, you will still be able to capture your friends looking ridiculous and/or giving each other piggy back rides.

Being the DD isn’t the most fun available, but it doesn’t have to suck. If you keep yourself in good spirits, make your friends pay for your soda, and keep a Beyonce CD in the car, it will go a long way towards making you the sort of DD that people are happy to drive for at the next party.

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